i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize