my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
