We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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