u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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