why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
operation have a gay friend backfired
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?