last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
