he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
