Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
