I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
