mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You may now shotgun with the bride
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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