Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
