so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
