Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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