If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
