i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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