we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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