how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm bleeding and have questions
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
