I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
