But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
organizing the empties. That sober.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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