jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
