at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
