You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
