i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
