I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
