she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
