I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
