This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
