Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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