I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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