Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
