i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
