I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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