i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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