Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Found the puke drawer
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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