Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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