you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
