He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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