To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
