woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
