Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pappa wants mamma naked
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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