i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
