Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
