put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
