I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
