I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I want is dick and wine.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
