Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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