Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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