when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
