Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
