your parents love me but you hate me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i may or may not be watching the land before time
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
