I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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