Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
