I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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