38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We are all done wearing pants today
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
