Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
