very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
