I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
