do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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