Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize